I am not very good at throwing what I need to get done to the side and just playing and being with my girls. Sure, I do it for a few minutes at least each day, but not how much I would like to when I stop and think about how fast they are growing up. I get caught up in all the housework and errands that need to get done, and with 3 girls, 4 and under, sometimes I don't get it done as fast or smoothly as I'd like. Here in California people look at me like I'm crazy when I've got all three of them along with me at the grocery store, or Target, or the bank, etc. I don't have a choice though. Jeremy goes to work at 7:40 am and doesn't get home until around 7:00 or sometimes 8:00 pm. I don't know any babysitters yet (we went through a babysitting service for Saturday night - 4 hour minimum is just too long for running errands). So they have to come with me everywhere I go. I don't know how many people have said, "Wow, you've got your hands full." It seems like when we lived in St. George people were more sympathetic to having your children with you and they'd laugh or smile at their craziness. Here it just seems like people get annoyed. My kids aren't horribly misbehaved children either. People just look at me like I am trying to repopulate the world all by myself - come on it's only 3!! Anyway enough ranting! So my baby Ellie has been in a terrible sleep pattern lately. She stays wide awake until somewhere between midnight and 1:00 am. I've tried just sticking her in her bed and letting her cry it out, but after an hour or so the girls and Jeremy just have to get some sleep and so I have to go get her. Last night was no different. I got Ellie out of her bed about 10:30 and finally got her to sleep at 12:30 am. Well, in that time Britlyn came downstairs around 11:30 pm and told me she couldn't sleep. That little girl has so many personality traits like her daddy, and poor thing, occasional insomnia is one of them. Normally I'd make her get back in bed, but for some reason last night I told her she could stay up with me and Ellie. We stayed up messing around on the computer - looking at other blogs. She asked if she could play nick.com for a little while, so I let her while I rocked Ellie and got her to bed. I came back downstairs and asked Britlyn if I could rock her. She said yes and so off to the rocking chair we went. I held her, rocked her, and sang to her. She looked up at me and just said,"Mommy, this is my best night ever. I feel really good right now." Right then I realized I don't spend nearly enough time doing things like that with her. Ellie usually takes precedence and Makenna is more demanding too, so Britlyn usually doesn't get as much. It was one of those moments where everything you do becomes worth it. I told her she'd always be my baby. She asked, "Even when I'm old and you die, will I still be your baby?" I told her of course she would. Then she told me she'd never forget that she loves me. Oh man, you just can't put a price on times like this. She asked me to tell her a story and I was so tired I started to fall asleep while telling it. She was like, "Mommy! What are you doing?" Then she realized I was falling asleep, so she said she'd tell me a story. What a sweetheart. Finally about 1:30 am I told her we had to get to bed. She still didn't seem at all tired, but she willingly went. I really need to be better at letting the dishes wait and having more times like this with my girls.
Now here is one of her favorite bedtime songs - my mom sang it to me and her dad sang it to her, and I'm sure it goes back further than that, but stopping and thinking about the words - it is kinds of a messed up song!
Oh don't you remember
a long time ago
There were two little babes
their names I don't know
They wandered away
one bright summers day
and were lost in the woods
I heard people say
The moon went down
and the stars gave no light
Those poor little babes
how sad was their plight
They sighed and they sighed
and they bitterly cried
Those poor little babes
They laid down and died
And when they were dead
the Robbins so red
brang strawberry leaves
and over them laid
and sand them a song
the whole night long
those poor little babes,
those poor little babes
I know what you're thinking - "What's wrong with you?! Why would you sing a song like that to your kids?!" But you know what? They love it, and I remember loving it as a kids too. So, the messed up tradition continues...
2 comments:
I think we all struggle with finding the right balance. I think you just have to get to the point where you let your standards for a clean, organized life go...or lower them dramatically.:-)
I feel like I'm always with my kids, but when I think back on the day, most of that was running around "hurry, hurry!"ing, or "clean up this mess!" ing. I do want to be better about taking the time to do the important kind of things first, because the thing I remember most about my mom growing up is that she was always busy cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, etc. I don't want that to be what my kids think of.
I dont spend nearly enough time with my little people either. It is hard to find the balance in life, balance with work and the kids. I have come to the conclusion that sometimes I just have to let things go , the house will still be messy tomarrow!!! It killed me at first! But I feel like I can better a mom when i stop worry about it all.
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